


Linked Regiment

by Sinnatious



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Book: Monstrous Regiment, Crack, Crossdressing, F/F, Gen, Inspired by Mulan (1998), Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27931870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinnatious/pseuds/Sinnatious
Summary: Linked Universe but it's Terry Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment. They all assumed that the Hero’s Spirit was by default male, after all – surely they’re the only girl?
Relationships: Malon (Legend of Zelda)/Time (Linked Universe), Sky/Sun (Linked Universe)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 155





	Linked Regiment

**Author's Note:**

> This started off with ‘hey terrible Mulan remake is out what if Warriors’ story was Linkle pulling a Mulan’ but then became Terry Pratchett’s Monstrous Regiment because why stop there. Also I kind of wanted to write something a bit fluffy and cracky for a change. God ensemble is hard to write though I cry at any scene with more than three people in it. Sat on this for a while because I was very not happy with it but hitting post just to be free of it. Pretty much word vomited this whole thing while sleep deprived, best not take anything here too seriously.

When Hyrule thinks about it, it’s really quite surprising that no one discovered it sooner.

Wind’s eyes are wide saucers, face turning bright red. Hyrule suspects they match.

“Um, ah, um, it’s, it’s not, it’s um-”

“Sailor,” Hyrule says slowly, “You’re a girl?”

She scrambles for the side of the lake, snatching up her blue tunic and pulling it over her head frantically. It’s too late. Hyrule’s seen everything. Can’t _unsee_ it.

Wind is young. Skinny, flat chested, and always wearing clothes slightly too big, hair cut in such a mess it’s almost certainly done with a knife, with large dark eyes and an incredibly expressive face that is usually twisted into either fierce concentration or a wide, bright grin. No one would have any reason to think she’s anything but a rough and tumble young boy who has yet to hit a growth spurt.

It’s an incredible camouflage, and Hyrule is in quiet awe of it.

“It’s not, I never meant to lie, exactly, I promise I-” Wind is babbling, pulling her tunic down to better cover her thighs.

“No, wait, it’s okay!” Hyrule grabs Wind’s hands, and blurts, “I am too.”

Wind pauses, eyes blown wide. “Huh?”

“Me, too,” Hyrule whispers. “I’m uh… I’m not… I’m…”

It’s like flipping a switch. Wind stares at her, eyes wide. “You’re also-?”

It’s Hyrule turn to blush. She’s never told anyone before – not even Zelda. “Y-yeah.” She laughs. “I can even turn into a fairy, have you seen my fairy form? I thought I was busted then, but nobody even commented.”

“I dunno, I sort of thought fairies reproduced with magic, or something.” Wind frowns, briefly distracted by this new mystery. “Like – like deku scrubs?”

“That might be chuchus you’re thinking of.”

“Oh, right! Yeah, come to think of it, some of the Great Fairies we’ve – wait! That wasn’t the point! This is amazing!” Wind pumps their still-joined hands enthusiastically. “All this time I thought I was the only one! Why did you hide it?”

“When I first set out, a Wise Man gave me some advice. Told me that it wasn’t safe for a girl my age to travel the roads alone.” Having been on those roads, and having saved some number of girls, Hyrule is inclined to agree. “And then, well, when I met all of you…”

Wind nods energetically. “All of the other incarnations of the Hero’s Spirit were men, and you wondered if there was something wrong with you. Or if the Goddess got it wrong, and you weren’t a hero at all?”

Hyrule blinks. “Right. Exactly.” It’s not a thought that haunts her every step or anything, but it had been enough to stall her from admitting the truth. And she’s been pretending to be a boy for so long now she’s not sure how to stop. “How did you know?”

Wind sighs dramatically, flopping back against the grassy lake edge. “When my adventure started, everyone kept saying that I was surely the reincarnation of the Hero of Time. But the Hero was a boy, right? Link’s normally a boy’s name too, at least in my Hyrule – because of the Hero of Time, again. And I don’t know – I guess I didn’t want to disappoint anyone? It wasn’t all bad - it was sort of handy to have people think there was a man around the house, and it meant I didn’t have to wear dresses and I could do what I wanted, and well, my grandmother knows of course but most people who I meet just assume and then I got famous and-”

“The lie got too big,” Hyrule finishes softly.

Wind nods emphatically. “Right! You get it!” Wind laughs. “I can’t believe we’ve both been pretending to each other, though! It’s nice to know someone is in the same boat, even if it’s for different reasons.” She plucks at her tunic. “I’ve been worried that when I get older it might come up more often. But nobody will care, probably, now that I’ve actually defeated Ganon. Maybe it’s time to start correcting people – I never thought it would get this far.”

Hyrule makes a sound of agreement. She’s deeply aware that as she ages, her features remain soft, and people will eventually start to ask questions. Even though she’s never eaten enough to get much of a figure, and can probably go unnoticed for some time yet, she figures by now the Wise Man’s advice doesn’t apply – girl or boy, it won’t stop monsters chasing her for her blood. And she can take care of herself far better now than when she started out. “It’s become habit. I don’t hate it, but sometimes it’s inconvenient,” she admits.

“Right? Finding some privacy to bathe or take a piss is a nightmare sometimes.” Hyrule winces at the crudeness, but it’s not like Sky is present to take offence so she doesn’t comment. Wind starts tugging her drawers and pants back on. “Like today, I guess. I thought everyone was going to be busy for ages yet! I just wanted to clean all the gunk on my legs off before the Captain made a fuss about it and hauled me here to do it himself.”

“Hmm.” Hyrule considers it. It’s been a problem for her too, of course, but she’s not subject to the kind of incessant mothering Wind tends to suffer from the group at large. Usually she only has to ditch Legend, and Legend is all too eager for his own privacy most of the time. “I guess most people take care of their own injuries, usually, and for a group of men they’re more modest than most. Not a lot of running around with their shirts off like I’d worried.” In fact, Hyrule’s probably come the closest to that, but the leather undervest she wears for protection works wonderfully as a binder, not that there’s much to bind. “Still, you’re right, it’s surprising we’ve gone this long without being found out.”

“I’m just grateful I’m not the only one,” Wind admits with a wobbly smile, getting slightly teary-eyed, face scrunching up as she sniffs it back. “All this time, I thought there must be something wrong with me, but if you’re a girl too, then that means-”

Hyrule wraps her in a hug. She’s never really dared to before, not properly, nothing more than an arm flung over shoulders, worried someone might notice even if there’s no way they _would_. “I know. But I guess the Hero’s Spirit doesn’t care about that after all.”

The pair of them dissolve into relieved laughter.

When they head back to camp later, Legend scowls at them. “What are the two of you so happy about, huh?”

“Nothing!” They reply in tandem, exchanging a quick glance. A silent pact.

Legend narrows his eyes at them, then huffs. “Whatever. You’re both on clean-up duty after dinner for skiving off. Don’t complain to me, it was the Old Man who said it!”

* * *

Nothing much changes for Wind. She feels lighter, that one of her comrades both knows and _shares_ her secret, but their journey continues as normal. If she spends a lot more time with Hyrule than before, well, nobody really questions what she does. The advantage of being youngest. At least now it’s easier to get privacy for bathing or toilet breaks without someone deciding they need to shadow her for safety, as though she’s not completely as much as a hero as the rest of them – she can just drag Hyrule along before anyone else offers.

Still, it’s nice. She thinks maybe once she gets back to Outset Island, she’ll finally stop trying to be the Hero of Time reborn and just be herself. But she’s not ready to confess to the others that she’s actually a girl. That would just make everything awkward, especially if Hyrule wants to keep it secret for now as well. And even if she feels relief that she’s not the only one, Time _has_ been her role model for nearly as long as she can remember, and she doesn’t want to admit that she’s been lying to him. How would he feel about having a girl as his successor? He might not care, but she doesn’t want to test it. Also, would Warriors be weird? He seems to flirt with every woman he comes across, and she doesn’t really want to have to stab him if he tries it with her.

As a result, things continue as normal. Until one morning, when they’re staying at an inn for a change, and she and Hyrule are sharing a room with Sky.

They’re in three sets of three, and Wind can see most of their party already outside. Waiting on them. “Sky!” she groans. “Sky, wake up!”

Sky doesn’t respond in the slightest, still curled up tight in the blankets.

Hyrule is poking him in the shoulder repeatedly. “Sky,” she says softly. “Come on, wake up.”

“That’s not gonna help at all. Here, I’ll show you how it’s done,” Wind declares, grabs Sky’s blanket with both hands, and _yanks_ it free.

Sky tumbles to the ground with a yelp. Wind laughs and tackles her. “Wake up, wake up! Don’t go back to sleep!”

Then, in the following squirming struggle, she gets careless, and her hand lands somewhere it shouldn’t. Sky jumps as though electrified, and Wind freezes.

“I’m awake, I’m awake!” Sky babbles, scooting backwards and pulling the blanket along for the ride. Wind remains in place, eyes wide.

“Traveller,” Wind squeaks. “Traveller, I think our Chosen Hero is-”

“Huh?” Hyrule asks.

Wind grabs Sky by the shoulders and abruptly yells, “Are you a girl?!”

Sky immediately freaks out and smothers her mouth with her hand. “ _Quiet_! The others will hear you!”

Wind is far too ecstatic to care, yanking Sky’s hands away again so she can speak. “They’re all outside already, it’s fine! But this is _great_!”

Sky blinks. “It… is? You’re not mad?”

“Why would we be mad? Traveller and I are too!” Wind informs her, excited.

Sky glances at Hyrule, bewildered. Hyrule gives a timid nod and a smile. “It’s true,” she confirms.

Sky slumps in relief. “I thought I was the only one,” she admits.

“Us too,” Wind comforts her. “Wait, but I came later and I had a legacy to live up to, and Traveller had sort of, a safety thing? But why are _you_ running around pretending to be a girl? You were the first, right? And Skyloft sounds like it was pretty safe?”

Sky ducks her head, hesitating. Now that Wind knows, her voice and features really are so soft – like Hyrule’s. “It’s kind of embarrassing,” Sky murmurs.

“We can hardly judge,” Hyrule encourages her.

“I just… I love Zelda _so_ much,” Sky blurts out. “But on Skyloft, it wasn’t- there was no way! I didn’t have any family to tell me I couldn’t, but Zelda did. So, we uh - well, it was mostly me, honestly – had the bright idea that I could just pretend I was a man? I was always pretty strong and never very feminine, so it wasn’t a big adjustment, really, and Link’s considered one of those names that could go either way, there. Um, a few people who knew me before the academy thought I’d just been cross-dressing until then, actually, I got some teasing from that. But it meant Zelda and I could be together, so…” Her gaze took on a dreamy cast.

“That is… such an elaborate solution to the problem.” Wind is in awe. It’s kind of amazing. “You really would do _anything_ for your Zelda.”

“Well, of course!” Sky says it like Wind is commenting on the sea being blue. “Oh, but I had no idea anyone else was in the same situation! I kept it secret out of habit, really, but I _do_ trust everyone – do you think anyone would care? That me and Zelda are both girls?”

Wind shrugs. “I don’t care. Not sure why anyone would?”

Hyrule looks thoughtful. “I think it’s lovely how much you two love each other. But how does that work with the line of succession? The Hero’s Spirit comes from all over the place, but the royal family has an unbroken lineage, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, we’ve already thought about that!” Sky reports happily. “Zelda really wants kids someday, so well, there’s this guy we don’t necessarily mind, and we thought-”

Hyrule suddenly throws her hands out, face bright red. “Sky!”

Sky blinks, then blushes. “You’re right, sorry, I just got a little carried away thinking about it…”

Wind looks between them. She’s missed something. Well, it hardly matters. What matters is that they have a new member in their sisterhood, and Sky is the _first_. If Wind had any more doubts that being a girl with the Hero’s Spirit wasn’t weird at all, they are now put to rest.

“You’ve both done really well to keep it secret until now,” Sky is saying to Hyrule. “I didn’t have any clue at all.”

“You as well,” Hyrule assures her. “I guess living in close quarters for this long though, it’s almost inevitable someone will find out.”

“I’m just glad it was the two of you, then.” Sky winces. “I don’t really want to think about what the Captain might say, if he knew.”

“Or the Veteran. Or the Old Man,” Wind adds.

“Our Veteran would be fine with it, I’m sure,” Hyrule defends.

“Then why haven’t you told him yet?” Wind asks. Hyrule falters. She nods knowingly, but pats her on the shoulder anyway. “It’s okay, I don’t blame you for not risking it. Besides, it’s not just a secret belonging to one of us anymore. There’s three of us now!”

They all grin at each other, buoyed by their mutual discovery.

The moment is cut short by banging on the door. “Are you three awake in there?” It’s Time, come to check on them. Wind completely forgot – they were supposed to be downstairs already.

“We’re coming!” Wind promises as they scramble to gather their things.

They don’t get the chance to talk about it again that day, but Wind can’t hide that she’s more hyper than usual. She sends Sky and Hyrule a big grin every time their eyes meet, and they respond with small smiles of their own. No one else notices, beyond Legend peering suspiciously at them, and Time commenting that Wind seems to be in good spirits that day.

* * *

Like before, not much changes, except now Wind can drag Sky along when she wants some privacy – useful when Legend can’t be pried from Hyrule’s side.

Having a trio makes a difference, though, the next time they’re in a town. As everyone splits up to run their various errands, the three of them stick together.

“You know, I’ve been thinking it might be nice, since there’s three of us now, for us to go to the baths in town,” Sky suggests. “I’ve wanted to go for ages, but I’ve always avoided it, since I didn’t want to go alone but also _couldn’t_ go with anyone.”

“Oh, I suppose, it could be nice?” Hyrule ventures. “I’ve never really been, honestly.”

“Heck yes! Let’s do it!” Wind enthuses, not so much because she wants a bath but because she’s extremely psyched about this new sisterhood they have going and wants to spend more time with them. It’s actually great. She hopes she can have this kind of camaraderie with Tetra one day. Who knew not having to keep secrets was so wonderful?

“But if the Captain is there…” Hyrule dithers. He makes a very loud point of visiting the baths every time they visit a town. “Didn’t he say he was heading that way when we all split up earlier?”

Wind waves it off. “We walked past it on the way in, these ones are definitely separated. We just have to make sure we don’t get spotted going in and out and it’ll be fine.”

“Great, lead the way then,” Sky offers with a gesture.

It doesn’t take long to arrive at the bathhouse. They hand over their rupees and quickly slip into the women’s changing room. Wind gives the other two a thumbs up once they’re inside. “See? Easy!”

Sky smiles as she undoes her numerous belts and shrugs out of her tunic. “Now that I’m here, it feels silly that I never tried before.”

Hyrule stashes her boots. “It’s still a gamble, but we would have to be pretty unlucky to cross paths going in and out.” She wraps herself in a towel. Clad only in the basic towels provided by the bathhouse, both Sky and Hyrule look unmistakably female – Sky especially has a slightly hourglass figure, normally hidden by the excess of cloth and belts she wears.

“Bath time, bath time!” Wind singsongs, grabbing Sky’s arm and tugging her along. Sky follows along with a laugh, the three of them heading into the baths proper. Until Sky suddenly stops in her tracks, and Wind stumbles, and turns to look at what caught her attention.

Warriors is sitting in the women’s baths.

Warriors, who definitely has the biggest rack out of all of them and is staring at them with wide, panicked eyes.

“Oh,” Hyrule says faintly. “I guess that makes four.”

* * *

They wind up discussing it in the baths. They’re already there anyway.

“I wanted to join the army,” Warriors complains, slapping her hand on the water for emphasis. “I could fight better than almost anyone else but I wasn’t _allowed_ because women weren’t allowed to fight, not unless they were royalty or sheikah or sorceresses. A commoner like me? They wouldn’t take me.”

Sky pats her on the shoulder comfortingly. “That seems rough.” The Academy had accepted all students in Skyloft, but she’s been learning not all Hyrules follow those kinds of rules. “So you pretended to be a man to enlist. You never got found out?” Everything she’s heard about the army makes it sound hard to keep something like that a secret.

Warriors waves that off. “Ah, Impa found me out eventually, not sure when though. Maybe when I got promoted and she had a reason to look into my background. The war had started at that point though, and they weren’t picky anymore. If you could fight, you were in. Helped she had a knight she could trust to guard the princess, I think.”

Wind looks thoughtful. “But if you’re a woman, couldn’t that whole Cia thing have, you know, just been avoided?”

“Hell no! If it turned out she didn’t want a woman, she might have gone after the kid instead!” Warriors defends. “I was just the most convenient holder of the Hero’s Spirit to her.”

Wind thinks that over, then nods. “Fair enough.” She goes back to splashing in the bath water.

Sky’s stuck on that point though. “Wait. So is _this_ the source of all of your women problems?”

Warriors sighs. “I _maybe_ flirted with a few women to help keep my cover. But for some reason they all decided that I’m just the perfect man.” She shrugs. “Having spent some time in the army, I’m less surprised. It’s an astonishingly low bar to clear to be better than that lot.”

They leave the baths as a group, chatting among themselves, catching the puzzled eye of the proprietor as four men leave the women’s baths without any drama or complaints. Sky is mostly just happy to have finally been able to have a proper soak, instead of a clandestine wash in a cold river or lake. She’s forever sore from keeping up with the rest of this inexhaustible group and the warm water has been fantastic for it. “I think I might head back to the inn for a nap,” she yawns.

“I’ll come with you,” Hyrule offers. “I’m already stocked up on everything I need.”

“Me too,” Wind says. “That bath made me sleepy.”

Warriors ruffles her hair. “Because the hot water relaxes your muscles, brat. Why do I think I’m such a fan?”

“Just thought you liked looking pretty,” Wind quips.

The head pat turns into a head cuff. “I like being _clean_. I don’t understand how the rest of you are fine with bathing once a week.”

They head back to the inn. Sky smiles to herself as she listens to Wind and Hyrule and Warriors rib each other back and forth like siblings as they walk. They were close even before, but now with that shared secret, they’re even closer. It’s nice.

As such, Sky almost doesn’t notice Legend when they get back – he’s slouched against the wall by the inn’s entrance, a sour look on his face. “Where have all of you been?” His tone is accusatory.

“The bathhouse. Like _civilized_ men,” Warriors replies airily.

“ _All_ of you?” Legend glances dubiously at the rest of them. Sky winces internally. Their avoidance of the public baths to keep their secret now works against them.

“Yeah? You could have come too, if you wanted,” Warriors points out, and Sky understands now how she’s managed to keep her secret so long – she can bluff just as hard as their leader when she cares to.

Hyrule is looking guilty, though, and Legend laser focuses on it. “Is that so?” he asks. “You’re all looking awfully chummy. You sure nothing happened?”

Sky is no good at lying, so says nothing. Hyrule is looking at her feet. Wind glances between them both, worried.

Warriors crosses her arms though, not intimidated in the slightest. “Just because _you’re_ a grumpy bastard doesn’t mean the rest of us have to be.” She pats Sky on the back, steering her ahead into the inn. “If you don’t have anything _useful_ to say, you’re holding us up.”

Legend narrows his eyes at them, and huffs. “Fine, be that way.” Then stalks off.

* * *

It’s another two weeks of travelling and fighting and world-hopping before they all get another break in a town with a proper inn. Hyrule is exhausted. Legend has been all but glued to her side for the duration, asking probing questions about the others and making pointed comments, until Warriors or Sky come to her rescue. He’s suspicious, but not sure what he’s suspicious _about_. The constant vigilance is wearing her thin even worse than it had back when she thought she was alone.

“Is there anything you need from town?” Legend asks, going through his bags with a frown.

“Nothing particularly,” Hyrule admits. They haven’t had to deal with anything more than scratches and bruises for a solid week, so she hasn’t had to touch her potions at all.

“I need to restock on arrows,” Legend decides. “Hopefully the shops here don’t charge too much. Let’s go check it out.”

Hyrule sighs inside at the thought of trawling the town for the best arrow prices, but doesn’t say anything. Still, she can’t help but be grateful when Warriors’ hand lands on her shoulder. “You’re free then, Traveller? We could use a fourth, even up our numbers.”

Legend peers at Warriors distrustfully. “What do you need him for?”

“There’s a games parlour in the north of the town the kid wants to try out. Two people per round,” Warriors says. “The smithy and the Old Man are off looking for a map of the nearby forest, the cook and the farmhand are looking at horse stuff or something.”

“Sorry,” Hyrule says to Legend. “Will you be alright on your own?”

Legend scowls. “Of course I will! It’s just arrow shopping.”

“Great!” Warriors says with a smile better befitting a hungry Zora. “See you later then.”

Legend hesitates, then grabs his pouch and heads out the door, side-eyeing Warriors all the while. As soon as he’s gone, Hyrule murmurs, “Thank you.”

Warriors just pats her on the shoulder and steers her to the room she’s sharing with Wind and Sky. “He’s attached at your hip, knowing what I know now, that must be annoying.”

Hyrule shrugs it off. She still _likes_ Legend, still admires him, but because of that keeping secrets from him, especially when he’s been getting suspicious, is all the worse. Just being around someone who _knows_ is like a weight off her shoulders.

“Traveller!” Wind waves excitedly from the bed as they arrive back at the room. Sky gives her a warm smile. “Finally ditched that grump?”

“Sailor!” Sky chastises.

“What? I feel like I haven’t talked with Traveller in _weeks_! Not properly, anyway.”

Hyrule drops onto the bed next to Wind. “I’ve missed talking with all of you too,” she admits. “So where exactly is this games parlour we’re going to?”

“Oh, that.” Warriors waves it off. “I just made that up. No, I’ve got a different plan for us. We’re staying in, and I’m teaching all of you girls about _hair_.”

It turns out that Warriors, having finally found some female brethren, is utterly appalled by their grooming habits, even beyond their lack of regular bathing. Of course, Warriors has been utterly appalled by _everyone’s_ grooming habits from the outset, so this doesn’t change much except now she feels like she can push the matter.

It works too, because where before they would fob her off to protect their secrets, now they let her. Hyrule is mostly curious. Wind doesn’t care either way, but likes learning new things. Sky, surprisingly, is the hardest one to convince.

“I don’t need to get in touch with my feminine side!” she protests.

“It’s not about being feminine! Just because it’s a disguise is no reason to look slovenly,” Warriors scolds. “None of you thought I was a woman until you walked in on me in the baths, did you?”

“She’s got a point there,” Wind admits.

Sky folds her arms, chin jutted out in a pout.

“Look, learn to do it, and I guarantee Zelda will love it. Who doesn’t like being pampered? I’m convinced those idiot men would like it too if they could get over themselves enough to do more than dip in a river occasionally,” Warriors grumbles. “The worst thing about the army is definitely the _smell_. You can impress your Zelda by not smelling like a barn, and doing her hair, and she’ll thank you for it. It’s _romantic_.”

Sky falters. “Romantic?”

“Trust me. She’ll swoon like a fairy over sugar cubes. Now get over here and let me do your hair. I’ll teach you.”

It turns out to be a pleasant way to while away the afternoon. Hyrule touches the ribbons in her hair – procured from where, Warriors wouldn’t say - humming happily. It reminds her of when she would visit Fairy fountains and they would comb it with their tiny fingers and weave in flowers. Their efforts were always wrecked within a few hours of leaving the fountain, but the memory of the act would always linger long after the last petal had fallen from her locks.

It’s nice, not having to be scared, not having to keep secrets. To be able to run her hands through Wind’s hair, carefully teasing out the tangles, and have the kid just tilt her head back at her and beam a grin as bright as the sun straight into her face. To have Warriors patiently correct her, touch gentle and guiding as she takes the hairbrush and swaps it for a comb. To learn something mundane, something that isn’t just survival and fighting. It’s peaceful, and her heart feels full.

Then the door slams open, and Legend is standing in the doorway, arms crossed.

Hyrule’s stomach plummets.

“I _knew_ it.” Legend’s eyes are fever bright, voice ringing with triumph as it echoes through the abruptly still inn room. “You’ve all been sneaking around, keeping _secrets_.” He walks in and kicks the door shut behind him. It slams shut hard enough to make the frame shudder – careless, not deliberate, but Hyrule flinches regardless. “Alright, out with it. What’s all this about?”

Hyrule is panicking, even though she shouldn’t be – they’re just doing hair, everyone is fully dressed, it’s not like there’s a blazing sign above their heads revealing the truth. “We- we’re- we’re just-” she stutters, each syllable quieter than the last, until her voice withers to nothing.

Warriors, on the other hand, is completely unperturbed. “We’re teaching each other how to do hair, what does it look like?” she remarks, blasé, around the two pins she’s holding in her teeth. She takes one, deftly slides in into Sky’s locks, and pats her on the shoulder. “You look fantastic, by the way. Very stylish.” The hairstyle isn’t feminine at all – more windswept and messy, in a way that looks artful and deliberate, vaguely reminiscent of the way Warriors does hers but accounting for Sky’s soft curls. Hyrule knows for the fact that it’s full of pins, but it doesn’t look like there’s any in there at all.

Sky pats her hair carefully. “Does anyone have a mirror?”

They all look at Legend.

He sputters. “What? No, you cannot use my Mirror Shield for that. Ask the Old Man, borrow _his_.” He narrows his eyes. “This is weird. Why are you all doing your hair like this?”

“The Captain wanted to. And Sky wants to impress Zelda,” Wind reports happily. “I think Aryll will like this too! I wanna practice so I can do it for her when I go home!”

Legend remains unconvinced. “Then why all the secrecy about it? Why lie about going out to games parlours then sit in the inn all afternoon to do this?”

“Aww, is the Veteran feeling left out?” Warriors taunts. “You can join in, you know. I could do some amazing stuff with that pink streak of yours.”

Legend sputters. “You’re avoiding the question!”

The rest of the group exchange an uneasy glance. Legend isn’t easily put off – they’ve all seen what he’s like when he gets his teeth into a mystery. This could be a problem.

Hyrule, though, probably watches Legend more than anyone else – isn’t too proud to admit that she probably _knows_ Legend better than anyone else in their crew. So she notices it. The way Legend’s gaze keeps flitting to the ribbons in her hair, to Warriors fussing over Sky, then darting away again.

It looks like _longing_. Like self-denial.

Maybe, if she’d never stumbled upon Wind that time, she never would have thought anything about it. But the idea sparks in the back of her thoughts, and then before she can stop it, tumbles out of her mouth. “Are you- are you one too?”

Legend startles and glances at her, confused. “Hah?”

The others all pick up on it instantly.

“There’s one easy way to check!” Wind declares, leaping to her feet.

Warriors sticks out a leg and trips her before she can take more than a step. “Don’t even think about it, kid. With our Chosen Hero it was an accident, but if you do on purpose? That’s _sexual harassment_ , and I basically fought a war over it.”

Hyrule hesitates, then raises her hand. “Um, what exactly is sexual harassment?”

Warriors stares at her, then claps her hands. “Okay girls, gather around, there are some _very important_ conversations we need to be having.”

“…Girls?” Legend squeaks. “You mean you’re all- that your big secret is-”

Hyrule goes up to Legend and carefully picks up their hands, clasping them together. “Yeah,” she says, as gentle and coaxing as she can be. “Am I wrong? Are you, as well, maybe…?”

Legend is staring at her, eyes wide, in stunned silence.

Warriors then completely breaks the moment by asking, “Is this why you don’t wear pants?”

Wind dissolves in muffled laughter, and Sky yelps out a scandalised, “Captain!”

“What? It doesn’t make any sense, though. If she’s hiding it, you think she’d at least wear _tights_ , and not risk flashing everyone with the truth.”

The indignity of it is enough to finally break Legend from their state of shock. “Look, I don’t pretend because I _want_ to. I _have_ to! Political reasons.”

Hyrule brightens. “So then you _are_ -?”

Legend glances down, and admits, with face bright red, “Yeah. I’m a girl too.”

Wind pumps her fist with a quiet, “ _Yesssss,”_ in the background, and Hyrule thinks her cheeks might break under the strain of the smile stretching her face. She’s never liked lying, but from the very beginning lying to Legend has felt the worst of all, and the veteran’s reaction to the truth is the one she’s always feared the most. And now, she doesn’t have to worry anymore.

“What’s your story, then?” Sky asks.

“ _My_ story? What about all of yours?” Legend demands.

“Sky’s pretending because she’s in love with Zelda and apparently in her era pretending to be a guy is somehow _less_ controversial than just the two of them running off together? I don’t get it, really,” Wind volunteers. “And the Captain needed to get into the army, and Traveller did it for safety, and I was just sort of trying too hard to model myself off the Hero of Time and didn’t correct people and it got sort of too big?”

Warriors nods. “Right, that sums it up. Now spill.”

“You said it was for political reasons?” Hyrule prompts.

Legend sighs, and admits, “So, Zelda is my half-sister.”

“Wait, you’re a _princess_?” Warriors asks, incredulous.

Legend scowls. “I’m specifically _not_ a princess, okay? Zelda got the lynel’s share of the magic, and she’s the daughter of the Queen, so the line of succession goes to her. That’s why my uncle raised me as a boy! Look, apparently the royal family has been doing this with any illegitimate heirs for a long time, to stop there being any disputes over the throne. I’m lucky I wasn’t drowned at birth, apparently, so this is the trade-off. It’s so I can’t get hitched and have kids, or something, unless anything happens to Zelda and _then_ I have to step in. Like I said, it’s all dumb politics.” She crosses her arms with a huff. “I didn’t even find out the full story until my uncle was long dead. And now I’m famous, and stuck like this, and can’t change anything without causing trouble for Zelda.”

“That’s awful,” Hyrule says. The rest of them had at least chosen, to some degree, to conceal themselves – they’d all had the _option_ , however unpalatable, to not do it. Hyrule could have just taken the extra risk on the road. Wind could have corrected people. Warriors could have not joined the army. Sky could have given up on marrying Zelda. Legend has never had a choice.

Legend waves her concern off. “I've been dealing with it for a long time, I'm used to it. I didn't even question it for the longest time. And I reached some compromises with my uncle - he stopped trying to make me to wear pants so long as I went along with rest of it. And with power gloves and bracelets and everything else, it’s easy to fool people into believing it.”

Hyrule nods in fervent agreement. With the right tools, even a child could be a hero, she thinks. She’d never wish it on them, but they could certainly do it.

“Well, that makes you one of us, so take a seat,” Warriors says, then goes digging through her things. “I know I had some more ribbons in here somewhere, where _are_ they?”

Legend hesitates, but Hyrule grabs her hand and drags her to the bed she’d been sitting on before. Wind scoots to the side, leaning against Sky’s legs, to make space. “I’m glad you found out,” Hyrule murmurs to her. “I didn’t like lying to you. Sorry it took so long.”

Legend just looks embarrassed. “I lied to you, too, right? Don’t worry about it. We’re _all_ idiots, apparently.” Then, seemingly as a peace offering, she adds, “You look nice.” She touches a careful hand to the bows still in her hair. “I bet flowers would suit you better, though. You’re definitely a nature type.”

Hyrule beams at her. “I could do yours, if you want?”

When Legend dithers, but finally caves with a, “Yeah, sure,” Hyrule thinks it might be the best day of her life so far.

* * *

In Warriors’ opinion, the latest discovery shouldn’t change anything, no more than before – it’s just one more Link she can now bully into brushing their hair and using proper soap. But somehow, bringing Legend into the fold tips the balance.

There are more women with the Hero’s Spirit than men, now – five to four. That feels significant, and Legend is quick to seize on it.

“What if there are others?” Legend asks, the first instant since the inn that the group is split – the four not in the know out gathering food and firewood while the rest of them stay behind to set up camp.

“I don’t know,” Sky says. “It’s still half, right? Statistically, it makes sense.”

“But we don’t know for _sure_. How can you handle not knowing, when we all were wrong about each other for so long?”

Legend is on a mission, and they really have no choice but to go along with it. Warriors huffs. If this going to happen on her watch, at least she’ll make sure they don’t make idiots out of themselves over it. “Fine, let’s work through it then.” She holds up her hand, in full mission mode, ticking off her points on her fingers. “Of the ones we haven’t confirmed, there’s the Old Man, the farmhand, the smithy, and the cook. Out of those, the only _possible_ candidate I could entertain is the smithy.”

Legend rolls her sleeves up. “Not quite. You remember, right - that we found women’s clothes in our cook’s things that one time?”

They all go quiet. It’s a very, very, good point, one they’d all forgotten about until then.

“Surely not,” Sky says. “He took his shirt off that time, remember? To show us his scars.”

“No, she’s onto something,” Warriors comments, thinking back to the occasion. “Look, girls, with a _small_ exception for Sky, the rest of you are, how should we say it… _underdeveloped_.”

“You mean flat as a gangplank,” Wind offers.

“Screw you, I use a binder,” Legend snaps.

Hyrule hesitantly raises her hand. “I do too, actually.”

Warriors points at her. “And that’s exactly my point! We all _saw_ you with your tunic off wearing your binder, and none of us suspected a thing.” Her fellow Links are underfed waifs to the last. It’s an unholy intersection of underaged adventuring, insufficient diet, and a physically punishing lifestyle.

“I get what you’re saying, Captain, but the cook wasn’t wearing one,” Sky reminds her. “Even if he – or she, I guess – really is that flat, surely we would have noticed?”

“Would we?” Legend challenges. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but those scars were _kind_ of distracting, and they were pretty extensive across the whole chest.”

Warriors remembers. The scars aren’t exactly ugly – a lot of it is just colouration, there’s only a few parts where the flesh is twisted and knotted - but they do catch the eye, and make it hard to notice much else. And Wild is the same level of androgynous as the rest of them – a face that could go either way, a voice halfway too deep and halfway too high, a slim figure, wiry strength.

The women’s clothes, though. Warriors had joked about a secret lover, but in retrospect, Wild wouldn’t have been so flustered over the clothes if there weren’t more to it. Before, she might have guessed they belonged to an ex he was embarrassed to still be pining over, or maybe they were a gift with an embarrassing origin. Now, with the knowledge that five out of nine Links were women?

They can’t assume, can’t just jump to conclusions, but she’s been _dying_ to get her hands on Wild’s hair for a while. “We need a strategy,” she decides. “We have to corner him alone, but that might not be enough. Would any of us have admitted it without being caught red-handed?”

Wind starts to raise her hand. Warriors shoots her a look. “What did I teach you about sexual harassment?”

Wind pulls her hand down again. “Oh, right.”

“If we can engineer a situation, though,” Legend hedges.

“No,” Warriors states flatly. “Look, the clothes are the key, like you said. The trick is to see if they fit – that’ll be evidence enough. We can eyeball it.”

Sky looks thoughtful. “That’s hardly proof, though, right? Maybe they belong to a girl of similar size.”

Legend shakes her head. “No, it’s a good idea. A guilty conscience wants to unburden itself.” She glances at Hyrule out of the corner of her eyes. “I’ll steal them. But the confrontation will be the key.”

“Before dinner. Cook usually handles it alone. We put half of us on lookout for the others coming back, the rest of us stage a confrontation with the clothes,” Warriors decides. She points at Wind and Sky. “You two are lookout.” Wind makes a sound of complaint, but Hyrule is probably the closest of them all present with Wild, and Legend is the one stealing the clothes, and she can’t trust Wind and Sky not to spill under pressure. “Let us know when you’re ready, Veteran. Then we can at least put _one_ question behind us.”

She doesn’t even want to think about the other three yet. One problem at a time.

* * *

Luckily, they wind up only needing to wait until the next day. Legend steals the clothes that night while Wild’s asleep, the feat only marginally difficult due to how lightly their cook sleeps. She never got a proper look at them before, but they’re nice – airy blue silk, with gold cufflinks, and puffy lavender pants. They all huddle in quick secret conference to inspect the outfit that morning, and agree that it is about Wild’s size. The only thing left is to confront their cook with that fact.

It’s easy enough – Wild usually gets started on the cooking in the evening while everyone else patrols the area or fetches water or extra firewood or does whatever other chores inevitably take them away from camp. Wind takes up watch for anyone approaching, and Sky heads off with Four, who’s setting up to do some blacksmithing on some rocks a short distance from the camp. Legend takes the pilfered clothing and she and Warriors and Hyrule approach Wild at the cooking pot.

“Hey, Cook,” Legend calls. “Can we talk to you for a second? We’ve got a question.”

Wild half turns from stirring to give them attention. “Sure. What’s going on?”

Legend pulls out the outfit, and lets it hang from her fingers. “So, we couldn’t help noticing that these _lovely_ clothes are actually in _your_ size. And that made us wonder – are these actually for _you_ to wear?”

Wild’s face goes red. “How did you – give those back!”

Legend yanks them away in one quick motion. “Just _wait_ , would you? We’ll give them back, _if_ you answer us truthfully. Just tell us! Why do you have women’s clothes?”

“It’s none of your business!” Wild snaps, and makes a lunge for them.

Legend dances back, barely keeping distance. Their cook is quick on their feet. “See, I don’t think you’re the sort who’d actually care that much about being caught wearing women’s clothes – unless there was some _reason_ you felt the need to keep that a secret?”

“Do I need a reason?!” Wild shakes the ladle in their hand threateningly.

She knows. She _knows_ Wild _has_ to be a girl. Legend makes a noise of frustration, opens her mouth, but before she can say anything more, the Captain cuts in.

“No matter the answer, we won’t tell anyone, if you don’t want us to. Not even the farmhand or the Old Man,” Warriors promises, and Legend nods. Right, of course Wild would be worried about what Twilight would think – the two are as thick as thieves. It’s the same as her and Hyrule.

“We don’t give a shit if you are, either,” Legend adds bluntly, and scowls as Warriors steps on her foot. “What was that for?”

Wild’s staring at them. Gauging them. It’s easy to forget, since their Cook has memory problems and a concerning lack of common sense, that it doesn’t actually make them stupid, until moments like these when they would stare you down and you could _see_ the gears turning, the dots connecting in their head and dammit, Legend has messed up.

It doesn’t matter though, because they’re right. Wild asks, “Are you all girls too?”

Legend pumps a fist. “Called it!” she yells. Wind lets out a whoop of joy from her watch point in the distance.

Warriors rolls her eyes. “Yeah, we are. We’ve all been keeping it on the down low though, until this idiot decided she wanted to check if there were any others in our number.”

“Excuse you, this idiot was completely right.” Legend hands the clothes back over. “These are super nice, by the way. Is this formalwear in your Hyrule or something?”

“Gerudo clothing,” Wild answers, taking the silks back absently.

Hyrule brightens. “Oh! For getting into Gerudo town? Is that why you were so excited when you heard the Old Man had been there too?”

Wild groans. “You have no idea how awkward it was. I couldn’t say, ‘well of course they let me into Gerudo town without a problem!’”

“Why were you hiding it?” Legend asks, because it’s hard to imagine their cook caring about that sort of thing.

Wild shrugs. “I can’t remember why, but I can guess. I’ve been told I was a knight, before, but I don’t think women were allowed in the army. But with Calamity coming… well, like I said, I only have guesses.”

“It’s a travesty, is what it is,” Warriors grumbles. “At least the Sheikah clan only cares if you can fight or not.”

Wild turns her attention back to the pot on the fire, giving it an idle stir. “Of course, when I woke up, I didn’t know about any of that. All I know is King Rhoam – or his ghost, at least, it’s complicated – was shocked? He was the one who insisted I hide it – something about the prophecy’s wording. He was the first person I’d met. I didn’t know or understand anything at the time, so I just went along with it. Should I stop?”

“At this point, I think you can if you want to,” Hyrule offers. “Our sailor said she’s going to stop, once this adventure is over. I think I will too. There’s no real benefit to keep up with it anymore except convenience. Learning that all of you were girls too made me feel better about it. It’s been great not having to pretend or keep secrets.”

Legend scowls, kicking a rock towards the campfire. “That’s great for you two, but I’m stuck like this. Unless Zelda dies or something, but that would be _even worse_ , because then I’d probably get married off to some idiot prince or knight.”

“What about you, Captain?” Wild asks curiously.

Warriors waves it off. “I don’t particularly love living like this, but I’m second-in-command to Impa now. It’ll get political, and I don’t want to cause any problems for her or Zelda.” She stretches and yawns. “I suppose when the time comes, I’ll just use it to slip back into obscurity.”

“Like a secret identity,” Hyrule comments softly. “That’s not a bad idea. What do you think you’ll do, Cook?”

“Not sure. It never seemed important,” she replies. “But then, keeping it a secret isn’t important either. I’ve sort of just been going with the flow?”

Legend gets that. Once she got into the routine of it, she stopped thinking about the why after a while – it was just how things _were_. And even for those of them who found the secret hard to keep, when confronted with eight other Links, all supposedly men, there wasn’t much motivation to throw your hand up and declare yourself actually a woman. “The flow’s changed, though,” she mutters to herself.

Luckily, no one asks her to explain. Wild is a girl. _Six_ of them have turned out to be women pretending to be men, all thinking they were the only one. This no longer feels like a series of crazy coincidences.

“That leaves three, right?” Sky asks, hesitant.

“The smithy,” Legend points out immediately. Four is an obvious candidate – short, young, an androgynous hairstyle, soft-spoken. It doesn’t mean they’re _not_ a boy, but it means it’s feasible.

Warriors runs a tired hand through her hair. “I suppose I can’t think of any reason why he _couldn’t_ be. So, the question becomes, how do we ask?”

“I’ll do it,” Wild volunteers, and before anyone can stop her, she’s downed her ladle and is heading over to the next clearing where Four set up shop.

Legend and the others scramble after her. “You can’t just _ask_ outright!” Legend protests.

Wild ignores her, stride unbroken as they reach the clearing where Four and Sky are chatting as the smithy works. Sky is startled to see them approaching, sending them a worried glance as Legend frantically makes warning gestures at her. Wild, on the other hand, just walks right up to Four and says, “Hey, smithy. We were just wondering, are you a girl?”

Four blinks at them. Then replies, “Yes?” like they should have all already known.

Legend gapes. Warriors starts laughing. “I can’t believe it was that easy.”

Four just looks amused. “Did you think it was a secret?” She squints at them. “Oh, right, it’s still a secret for some of you?”

Legend slumps to the ground next to her. Of _course_ Four already knew. Hardly anything gets past her. “Not anymore, apparently.” She can’t believe it. They really _are_ all idiots. “ _How did you know_?”

“I mean, I’m a girl, right? I figured I probably wasn’t the only one. Our cook even took her shirt off in front of us. Sort of dumb if you’re keeping it a secret, actually.”

“I forget sometimes,” Wild admits. “I wasn’t around people a whole lot on my travels, so I never got into proper practice of hiding stuff. But I think most people write off my slip ups as me just being odd.”

“The scars are _very_ distracting, and she’s flat as a board,” Legend defends. “It’s probably a better cover than being a prude.” It’s still _incredibly_ annoying that they only found Wild out _today_ , though, given that admission.

Four just pats her on the arm. “You did really well, I didn’t guess you at all. The Captain either, actually. Do you stuff your pants?”

Warriors buffs her nails on her tunic smugly. “I figured out early on that people notice what’s _not_ there more than they notice what is.”

Sky slumps. “Am I that easy to spot? Should I be stuffing my pants too? If I get found out, Zelda’s father-”

“I can give you more tips,” Warriors promises. “But most people aren’t going to have a reason to wonder, not like our smithy. I didn’t suspect you until you literally walked into the baths half-naked.”

Four nods in agreement. “Besides, I only really guessed less than half of you.”

“But why didn’t you say anything?” Wild wonders.

“Oh, well, I thought we were all keeping it secret,” Four admits. “I didn’t want to reveal anything people were trying to hide. Figured it was better to keep my mouth shut unless someone brought it up.”

“What about _you_ though?” Legend complains. “If you knew, you could have come out with it! We all thought we were the only ones! For that matter, why were you pretending in the first place?”

Four shrugs. “It sort of just happened that way. My grandfather was a blacksmith, and I was apprenticing under him, but he was going a bit senile and kept forgetting I was his granddaughter and not his son and introducing me to people wrong. It became a bit of a hassle to correct it, and he’d get confused and upset if I got too insistent. If anyone ever asked directly I’d tell them the truth, but it almost never came up.” She tilts her head. “I didn’t think anyone would really care, though.”

“We don’t,” Hyrule assures her. “But I guess we all, uh, thought people might?”

Their fellow Links, specifically, she means. What a mess, though. “Oi, brat!” Legend calls out to the woods. “You might as well join us!” If everyone present is on the same page, there’s no need for a lookout. So long as they don’t start shouting, Twilight and Time won’t be able to get into hearing distance without their notice.

A moment later Wind comes tromping through the trees into the clearing. Her face lights up when she sees them all gathered. “The smithy too? This is the _best_!”

“This is a conspiracy, is what it is,” Legend mutters. “Okay, emergency meeting then. What are the odds that our last two members _aren’t_ also girls?”

“The Old Man? There’s no way,” Warriors says, shaking her head.

Legend looks to Four. Four holds up her hands. “I’m not touching that one. Old Man could tell us the sky is green and I’d start to wonder if I was just colour blind.”

Hyrule is looking pensive. “I can’t see it with the Old Man, but there is also Twilight to consider?”

Warriors scoffs. “I doubt it. You’ve seen that freakish strength, right? That’s all natural. I know none of us are exactly baseline normal, but lifting rocks without magic or accessories?”

She has a point. It’s one of the things Legend’s uncle had drilled her on, back when he first taught her how to fight. The sobering reminder that no matter how hard she trained, she wouldn’t be able to rely on innate strength and size, and that she had to find ways to work around that. In retrospect, those lessons had served her incredibly well on her adventures, where she’d consistently fought monstrosities far larger and stronger than _any_ hylian could ever hope to match conventionally.

Twilight, though – Twilight _could_ arm wrestle with any man in the kingdom and have a good chance of winning. There has to be some trick to it he just hasn’t shared. Maybe not a ring, or a bracelet, but some kind of blessing? A Fairy’s boon?

“He doesn’t look particularly feminine, either. He _looks_ like a typical farmhand,” Sky adds. “If he’s really a girl, he’s hiding it better than any of us.”

“He wears those furs, though – that hides a lot. And that curse mark on his face could be throwing us off. The curse might even explain the weird strength,” Legend argues.

“I guess.” Wind folds her arms. She obviously wants it to be true, but is struggling to find any evidence that it could be. “Oh, oh! He goes on about his broken heart a lot, is there any clue in that? He always made it sound like it was a woman, but he could have been covering?”

“It wouldn’t be useful either way, given Sky and her Zelda’s relationship,” Hyrule points out, then shakes her head. “Sky’s right. If he’s a girl, he’s hidden it extremely well.”

“But Wolfie is a girl, right?” Four says blankly.

“What?” Warriors asks, confused.

Legend, on the other hand, pauses, eyes wide. “Holy shit.”

“What does Wolfie have to do with this though?” Wind asks, face scrunched up.

“You’re right. I can’t believe I never noticed,” Wild says, dazed.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” Legend repeats, and leaps to her feet. “We have to ask, _right now_.”

Warriors grabs her by the back of her tunic, yanking her back down. “ _Don’t_! Just because rushing in has worked the past two times doesn’t mean it’s a good idea now.”

“So what if we’re wrong at this point? We outnumber them!” Legend complains. As much as she loves sneaking around finding out secrets, she’s not going to be able to think about _anything else_ until she knows.

“If we’re wrong, though, he might be offended. Especially if we’re _all_ there,” Sky points out. “And what if we’re right, but Twilight has some sensitive reason for hiding it? He might not want to share with everyone on the spot.”

“Let me,” Wild suggests. “I’ll get him alone. If I ask directly, I don’t think he’ll lie.”

“Ugh! Fine,” Legend concedes. As much as she wants to be there, it’ll probably work better that way. Wild has Twilight wrapped around her little finger, even if she seems completely unaware of it. “Just don’t make us wait too long.”

* * *

The next day, Wild leads Twilight to them, and the farm hand is rubbing the back of their neck sheepishly. “So uh, it looks like the truth is out?”

Warriors can’t decide if she’s impressed or just tired. Judging by the look on Legend’s face, for once she and the veteran are in complete agreement.

She just never honestly believed Twilight could be. But now that she’s _knows_ , and is looking carefully, she’s got the face for it - it’s really just the haircut that’s not doing her any favours. “Welcome to the fold, I am now in charge of your hair. I _will_ confiscate whatever knife you’ve been using to cut it.”

“No way!” Wind bounces to her feet. “I mean, it’s _awesome_ , but everyone had a lot of good points! How are you _so strong_?”

Twilight shrugs. “Farm work, I guess.”

“Farm work doesn’t explain it!” Legend complains. “You think the rest of us didn’t work at all?”

“Good genes?” Twilight hazards. She pulls off her glove and holds up her hand, showing where the shadow of the Triforce sits starkly on the skin like a pale scar. “I’ve had this mark for as long as I can remember, maybe that has something to do with it.”

Legend appears mollified by that explanation, muttering about boons and blessings under her breath. “Out with it then,” she finally declares with a dramatic sigh. “What’s your story?”

Twilight fidgets. Wild pats her on the back encouragingly.

“Well, it sort of has to do with this mark,” she says in a rush. “I was too young to remember when it started, but apparently when they saw it – that’s when my parents named me Link. Probably because the last holder of it had been called Link too.”

There’s a confession in that, one Warriors has suspected for a while about the Old Man and farmhand. They even look a little alike.

“My father died when I was young – I don’t remember him at all,” Twilight continues. “But my mother raised me as a boy, because of it. I fought so hard against it early on, but then she got sick, and… well, in my Hyrule, at the time, the bulbins were kind of notorious for kidnapping girls and children? And some villages, they would uh, offer up their orphans? Especially the girls? To protect the rest. The boys they would at least keep on as farmhands, if they were old enough.”

“But that’s awful!” Wind protests.

Twilight waves her hands hurriedly. “Ordon isn’t like that, of course! And it doesn’t happen anymore either – since I defeated King Bulbin, I put a stop to that. But I guess what matters is after my mother died, I was scared, and I didn’t know better, so I stuck with it.”

It was a bit like Wind’s, and a bit like Hyrule’s, and a bit like Legend's story then. Warriors thinks maybe none of them have done their successors any favours by _not_ outing themselves – Wild’s and Wind’s and now Twilight’s predicament seem at least partially related to old legends incorrectly proclaiming the hero a man. Assuming those legends refer to the eight of them, the old legends have been wrong, in nearly every case so far.

“I’m sorry,” Hyrule says softly. “That sounds difficult.”

Twilight rushes to explain, “It really wasn’t that bad! I mean yeah, I wasn’t happy about it, but it’s pretty ingrained by now to keep it up, even if it’s no longer necessary.” She looks embarrassed.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s the same for most of us,” Hyrule assures her.

Wild elbows Twilight in the ribs. “See? Told you no one would care.”

“It’s not even the wildest story,” Warriors remarks. “The Veteran’s backstory is enough to make any of us cry.”

“Screw you,” Legend retorts, as though in reflex.

Twilight looks over their group with bright eyes. “So uh, I was informed that I wasn’t the only one but… I count everyone except the Old Man here?”

Warriors sighs and pinches her brow. She knows where this is going, and she desperately wishes she didn’t. “You’re not wrong.”

“So… The Old Man,” Sky murmurs. They all glance off into the forest, where he’d disappeared on patrol – the same patrol Twilight and Wild were _supposed_ to be on. They probably don’t have much longer before he gets back.

“Is it even possible?” Hyrule wonders.

“We said the same about this crazy strong farmhand,” Legend reminds her.

They had, and many of the same arguments apply to the Old Man. Warriors tries to push past her biases and think it through logically. The scar over his eye lends a harshness to his visage in the same way the curse mark on Twilight’s forehead does. His voice is deep, but not so deep that he _couldn’t_ be a woman. The armour broadens his shoulders, hides any hint of a feminine figure. But the point she finds herself sticking on more than anything else, is that he’s ridiculously tall.

Warriors has always been tall for a hylian woman – Twilight too, but neither of them are extreme. Time though, Time is taller than even Impa. Warriors hasn’t seen _any_ woman that tall who isn’t a Gerudo – which Time, from the forest, decidedly _isn’t_.

Maybe he has insoles in his boots which make him look taller, the way Warriors does, but she doubts it. It’s not enough to disqualify the possibility – as Twilight has reminded them all, none of them are baseline normal, and those of them who’ve carried a piece of the Triforce probably even less. But _still_.

“He’s _married_ , though,” Twilight says. It’s another exceedingly good point.

Four looks thoughtful. “I mean, Sky and Zelda are going to get married too, right?”

Legend nods. “ _Exactly_. We can’t take _anything_ at face value.”

“Tch, I don’t see why not.” Warriors had been perfectly happy with the little club they had going – and while she’s overjoyed to have the rest of her fellow Links in it, she never once considered the possibility of having to go up against the Old Man on anything. _That_ is a nightmare she never signed up for, thank you very much.

Wild smiles. “Can you imagine, though? We’d have to start calling him Old Woman.”

“Maybe we should just try it, see how he reacts.”

“I’m not sure he’d even blink. Pretty sure Traveller called him Ma once by accident.”

“That was a _joke_!”

The discussion breaks down into a rabble. Warriors rolls her eyes. They’re worse than a bunch of rowdy new recruits sometimes. No wonder the Old Man is always cranky at them. “At this point, we might as well just go ahead and ask him.”

“Or her,” Wind reminds her.

“The Old Man’s a him until he tells me otherwise, same as the rest of you. Maybe he _likes_ being a guy, who am I to judge?” There was a difference between doing it for necessity and getting used to it or not minding it, versus actually identifying that way, independent of whatever body parts people had. Considering half of her fellow Links are still coming to terms with the concept of sexual harassment though, it’s a discussion she’s been leaving for another time.

Hyrule looks worried. “But what if he _is_ the exception, and he starts acting weird, knowing he’s the only man in a group of women in battle?”

“I mean, that’s a _him_ problem, then, as far as I’m concerned,” Legend scoffs. “If he’s going to treat us different when he’s the odd one out, he’s an idiot.”

“I’d be more worried about him getting even more strict,” Wild murmurs.

“Is that even possible?”

Warriors gets it, though – she’s seen enough chauvinism in her army, and that’s even with Impa for a General and princesses of all sorts tearing up the battlefield like one-woman platoons. A lot of it isn’t even from a bad place – lots of country boys were raised by their fathers to protect the women and children of the village, most of whom _weren’t_ Warriors and couldn’t kick their asses in a fight. The Old Man’s never been one of them, though. “He’s from the same era as Ruto and he’s tussled with the Gerudo, we probably don’t need to worry about that.” He’s achingly fair, in fact – doesn’t even treat _Wind_ differently from the rest of them, which actually grates on Warriors’ nerves sometimes. A side effect of being a child soldier himself, probably.

Wind twists her fingers together, looking down. “It’s just… if he’s the only guy, isn’t that kind of sad?” She stares at them with wide, doleful eyes. “That’s basically how we all felt, right, when we all thought we were the only ones? Only in his case, it would be true?”

That is true. It’s already awkward enough, Warriors thinks, that they’re all now conscious of the one member of their crew who is still assumed male. The Old Man is their de facto leader, at least, so a bit of distance won’t feel unnatural. And he seems quite secure in himself – more than many of their number – so he’s not likely to stay quiet if they can’t maintain a comfortable relationship.

Still.

“We can’t keep it a secret,” Sky says, and there’s a stubborn tilt to her chin – the steel in her spine that marked her a hero, that made her worthy of being chosen. “It’s different when it’s one person keeping a secret from eight. Eight keeping it from one is dishonourable.”

“We’ll confront him,” Warriors promises, because as much as she dreads it, she agrees. “But let’s at least get a clue of what we’re walking into first.”

“ _How_ , though?” Legend demands. “We got lucky with Wolfie and the Cook’s clothes, but what angle do we have for the Old Man?”

“You met him before, didn’t you Captain? As a kid?” Hyrule prods.

“Sure. He didn’t talk much, though. And kids are less obvious anyway.” She casts her thoughts back, but nothing stands out. Boy or girl, he’d been too young to fight, but she hadn’t been able to do anything to stop it. Impa hadn’t commented on it. Proxi hadn’t said anything either, but fairies weren’t the most observant when it came to that sort of thing – she hadn’t picked up that Warriors was a woman until she’d explicitly told her. “He’s covered head to toe constantly. I’ve never even seen him change. Maybe that’s the place to start.” Something natural, that didn’t require any spying.

Wind holds up her hand. “Oh, oh, we could spill something on him? So he’d have to take the armour off to clean it?”

“Sure, you do it,” Twilight grumbles. “You can be the one to deal with his disapproving face.”

They all wince as one.

“What if we go somewhere too warm for it?” Hyrule suggests.

“Death Mountain?” Legend asks, looking to Wild. They’re in her Hyrule currently, after all.

Warriors grimaces. “Not sure I want to give half of us heatstroke on the gamble the Old Man might take off his armour.” Knowing their luck, it’s enchanted for weather or something ridiculous like that.

Wild looks thoughtful. “Maybe not Death Mountain, but what about hot springs? They’re everywhere.” She opens her slate and starts poking at it. “I think there’s one not that far away.”

* * *

They go with the hot springs plan. It’s one stone, many birds - convenient, an innocent way to get Time to even partially disrobe in their presence, an organic way of revealing the truth about the rest of them, but _most_ important is that nothing will get between Warriors and a hot spring.

Wild’s happy for it, though, because she’s been missing hot springs herself. Not all the other Hyrules have them – or if they do, they’re usually too inconvenient to make use of. The handy healing of a fairy or a potion is wonderful, but nothing quite matches letting a hot spring slowly soothe her hurts away.

As with most things to do with their leader, they leave it to Twilight and Wind to twist his arm. It works - the next day, they divert their course for the hot springs. Wild leads the way, a skip in her step. Twilight keeps pace with her, a nervous bundle of energy.

“What if he-” she starts to say, for the third time that morning.

“It’ll be fine,” Wild promises. It’s an odd moment, to be the one offering reassurance, but Time’s opinion means a lot to Twilight. She understands – Twilight’s opinion means a lot to her, too. At least the whole pretending-to-be-a-man thing is something Wild’s only dealt with for less than two years – as far as she can remember, anyway, which is the only metric that really counts these days. Twilight’s been in hiding her _whole life_.

Of course, since it’s Time, things don’t go smoothly. As they arrive, the rest of them start removing their boots and armour. Wild is halfway through shrugging out of her tunic when she notices that their leader hasn’t even set down his sword and shield. “Is there a problem?”

Time shakes his head. “No. I’ll be scouting nearby. Keep an eye out while I’m gone.”

“Don’t be like that, Old Man, don’t you want to soak too?” Warriors complains.

“This area is safe!” Wild rushes to assure him. “There’s not even chuchus near here!”

“On a journey such as this, vigilance is key to survival,” Time says. “The rest of you enjoy the springs.” Then he’s off into the surrounding trees.

Twilight sags next to her. Wild pats her on the back awkwardly. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.

* * *

“So the hot springs were great, but that was a total wash,” Warriors announces needlessly. Twilight sighs in quiet agreement as she retrieves her clothes.

Hyrule glances over from where she’s fanning a red-faced Sky, who stayed in the hot springs far too long. They _all_ stayed too long, waiting for Time to come back from his patrol. “We didn’t even wait for him to leave before we started getting undressed.”

“Old Man’s either a prude or blind,” Legend grumbles.

“He _does_ only have one eye,” Four remarks.

“We could just stay undressed,” Wild points out. As it is, she’s only put her pants back on so far, leaving her scars out for all the world to see.

“That would be weird. That’s weird, isn’t it?” Wind frowns, looking to Warriors for guidance. Warriors nods.

Legend shrugs back into her tunic, grumbling. “We aren’t even being secretive anymore. Who cares?” She puts her hands on her hips with a scowl. “Isn’t this more evidence, anyway? That’s the kind of move the rest of us used to pull whenever an opportunity like this came up.”

Twilight shrugs, shaking out her outer tunic. It’s still odd getting changed in front of everyone else, but she quickly forgets about it with the bigger topic at hand. “He’s like that with everything though. If the group is split, he’ll stay close, but once all of us are together he wanders off alone to brood.” She should know – she often took those opportunities to seek him out when they first started, chasing the spectre of a long dead mentor.

The hero in question chooses that moment to finally re-join them. His gaze sweeps across the group – by now Twilight recognises the habit of counting heads to make sure everyone is present. Everyone freezes in anticipation – half of them are still only half-dressed, after all.

The silence stretches. Legend is the first to crack. “Anything to say?” she demands.

Time just frowns at her, glancing again at the rest of their half-dressed crew. “If everyone is quite done, get your things in order, I found a portal. Due west from here. I’m going back to keep guard, join as soon as you can.” Then he’s gone again, as the rest of them stare dumbly after him.

“He really didn’t notice or comment, did he,” Sky says faintly.

“I think I’m offended,” Warriors grumbles as she tugs on her boots.

“Has anyone actually checked if his good eye isn’t also blind?” Legend grumbles.

“Did we have a Plan B?” Wind asks as she sets about checking she has all of her things safely stored in her bag.

“He has to take the armour off sometime. Maybe we can take a look at it for clues?” Hyrule suggests.

“He takes it off when he’s sleeping,” Twilight offers hesitantly. “Maybe then?”

Legend snaps her fingers. “I’ll go through the rest of his stuff for clues too.”

Twilight frowns at her. “Don’t mess with anything.”

“I’m not a thief!”

“You are absolutely a thief,” Warriors says. “You stole our cook’s clothes, remember.”

“I _borrowed_ them – I always intended to give them back! You all agreed with it! I can’t believe I’m being persecuted like this.”

“Portal,” Sky reminds them. They all drop it, scurrying about to finish getting kitted out for action once again.

* * *

The next few days they scarcely have the chance to follow up on the matter – bouncing from the portal straight into a series of battles in an unknown Hyrule. And when they finally do, they continue to make no progress.

Legend throws her hands in the air. “I give up! He doesn’t sleep. And when he finally does, he’s even worse than the crazy cook – I even take a step towards his things and he’s awake again.”

“Look,” Twilight says tiredly. “Maybe we should just talk to him directly already. Tell him the truth about us, then see what he says.” She understood the impulse to wait until they at least had a clue of which way it would go, but it’s been over a week and they’re no closer to closure.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed,” Hyrule mutters. “We haven’t exactly been careful lately.”

“Some of us have _never_ been careful,” Four adds, with a pointed look at Wild. Wild, for her part, just shrugs it off.

“The farmhand’s right,” Warriors says. “Let’s just get it over with. Tonight. Dinner.” She pats her on the shoulder. “Good luck.”

“Wait,” Twilight says. “What do you mean?”

“You’re nominated spokesperson,” Four says. “I’d recommend during dinner, when he’s in the best mood.”

“Why _me_?”

Wind throws up her hand. “I could do it, if you don’t want to!”

Warriors gives her a look. Twilight sighs. “It’s fine, I’ll do it.”

Wild helps her out by cooking Time’s favourite meal – a recipe she got from Malon. Twilight bides her time until they’re halfway through, then clears her throat. The rest of them fall silent in anticipation.

“Old Man,” Twilight says. “There’s something I – all of us – need to tell you.”

Time frowns at her, and gestures for her to go ahead.

Twilight takes a deep breath and steels herself. She can do this. She doesn’t hold the Triforce of Courage for nothing. “We’ve all been lying to each other, all this time. We’ve been finding out one by one, and you’re the last one who needs to know. We’re all Link, but we’re not actually men. We’re all women.”

Time just stares at her, then glances at the others. They all nod. “We needed you to know the truth,” Sky offers.

Time sighs, and pinches his brow. “This is the Sheik thing all over again, isn’t it? Very well.” Then he goes right back to eating his stew.

The camp is silent but for the crackle of campfire of the distant chitter of a flock of keese.

“That’s it?” Legend eventually asks.

Time glances at her. “Is there something more you’d like me to say?” He pauses, then adds, “Ah. No hard feelings about keeping it quiet. It’s hardly the first time.”

“Not the first time?” Warriors asks in a slightly strangled voice.

“Of course. Zelda did the same once, as you of all people should know, Captain.”

“That’s….” Warriors seems lost for words. They all are.

“Um, is there – is there anything you’d like to tell us?” Twilight eventually manages to ask.

Time shakes his head. “I can’t think of anything, no.” He finishes up his meal and cleans his bowl, offering it back to Wild with a smile. “Thank you for dinner as always, Cook, it was delicious.”

Wild takes the bowl dumbly. “You’re welcome?”

* * *

“He’s just screwing with us at this point,” Legend says later. She looks like she’s on the edge of a nervous breakdown. “He has to be.”

“I am nearly willing to consider sexual harassment to find out. For just a moment,” Warriors agrees tiredly.

“I don’t even know if that would work,” Wild muses, with far too much seriousness for what Twilight hopes is a joke. “Considering he wears full plate. And even when he isn’t, the only things exposed are his hands and face.”

“At least he took it well?” Wind says hopefully.

He did take it well. He isn’t treating them any different at all. Watch has been divvied up completely as normal. The only sign that he’s even registered the news is him correcting his pronoun use when he’s going over the next day’s plans.

Twilight should be relieved – they _all_ should be – but they’re mostly just confused.

“I don’t know what to do,” she confesses.

“Welcome to the club,” Legend grumbles.

“Look, why don’t we just ask Malon?” Four, ever the reasonable one, suggests. “She’s the major sticking point anyway, right? And if anyone can explain, it’ll be her.”

“How long until a portal is kind enough to drop us back near the ranch, though?” Hyrule asks.

“A letter!” Wind declares. “We send her a letter with the Postman!”

They don’t have any better ideas. So Twilight suffers through writing the most awkward letter she ever thought she’d have to pen, sends it off with the Postman two days later, and then they wait.

Luckily, neither Malon nor the postman keep them waiting long. A week later the Postman rolls back through with letters for everyone. Time reverently takes his letter from Malon and wanders off to read it alone. The rest of the Links all zero in on Twilight accepting a letter though, and the Postman has barely run off again before they’re all crowding around, ignoring their own mail in favour of an answer to the mystery. Even Sky puts aside her letter from Zelda for it.

“C’mon, c’mon, read it!” Wind says, all but jumping in place.

Everyone crowds around, all elbows and knees. Twilight takes a deep breath, opens the letter, and starts reading.

“’First off, let me say I love my partner just the way she is’,” Twilight reads aloud. “’And I wouldn’t change anything in the world. Please don’t be concerned for me - I’ve known from very early on, and always just assumed that was how she wanted to live.’”

“Wait, she said ‘she’ specifically?” Legend demands.

“I can’t believe it,” Hyrule murmurs, awed.

“Don’t interrupt! Keep going!” Warriors orders.

Twilight clears her throat, and continues shakily, “‘Much, much later, well after we were married, did I realise that a village of children raised by a tree have _gaps_ in their education. And it turns out the Great Deku Tree doesn’t really understand hylian anatomy, either. Would just give the children names as he liked and they ran with it.”

“Holy shit,” Legend whispers. “She doesn’t know. She actually doesn’t know?”

“There’s more,” Twilight says, then coughs. “‘I’ve tried to explain it, but unfortunately the thing with Zelda and Sheik, if she’s told you about that, has made it difficult to get through. I then later also discovered that my father gave her a ‘man-to-man’ talk about the ‘birds and the bees’ before we married, without realising that Kokiri are actually born from the seedpods of the Great Deku Tree. My beloved Link has always taken this knowledge very seriously. I hope this answers your question, and that you girls are all taking good care of each other and staying safe. Please feel free to ask me anything else that’s on your mind. Love, Malon of Lon Lon Ranch’.” Twilight lowers the letter, and stares blankly into space.

Warriors drags a hand across her face. She looks like she wants to punch something.

Legend is shaking her head. “How? How has she lived _that_ long and nobody has _ever_ told her? How did she get _married_ without figuring it out?”

“Malon explained that, right there in the letter,” Twilight says feebly.

“I don’t understand how anyone can be simultaneously cannier than a fox and dumber than bricks,” Warriors laments.

“At least it means she’s not the odd one out?” Sky points out, ever optimistic. “We confirmed that, at least?”

“What do we even do with this, though?” Four sounds depressed.

Wind on the other hand perks up. “It turns out I really _was_ emulating the Hero of Time after all!” She laughs. “Better than even I knew!”

Twilight should resent it, really – that misunderstanding led to her own mother trying to raise her as a boy, but it’s hard to be upset when it turns out Time actually had no clue. It's almost sweet, actually, and wouldn't all of their lives have been simpler if the rest of Hyrule worked by the arbitrary rules of the Kokiri. “Wait, but…” Twilight pales.

She is Time's direct descendant. They've confirmed as much. But if Time is a woman, and so is Malon, that must mean _Time_ then…

She doesn’t want to know. Doesn’t even want to think about it. “Let’s just pretend we never got this,” she says, and throws the letter into the fire.

Nobody argues.


End file.
